There is a growing body of research revealing that many long-time Christian people are deciding not to attend church services any longer.
We are familiar with the term the “nones” in reference to people with no religious affiliation. However, there is a growing number of “dones,” committed Christians who have given up on church.
Some suggest that people who quit church are not true Christians or they are not being faithful to God. That may or may not be true. Certainly, there are those whom (for whatever reason) have walked away from God and have, therefore, left the Church.
However, many genuine believers are shifting their church attendance patterns. The purpose of this article is to address 15 common reasons committed Christians provide for why they do not attend church services.
15 Reasons Why Committed Christians Do Not Attend Church
1. I can get better preaching from a podcast.
There is a solid chance that this objection is valid. Do not take this personally. You might be an effective preacher, but like every other profession or skill–there is always someone better. As leaders, when we make our preaching the centerpiece of church engagement, we set ourselves up for failure. We have to build communities that prioritize relational disciple-making above dynamic preaching. A celebrity pastor’s podcast cannot challenge real-life relationships.
2. I can worship on my own.
Just like there will always be better preaching found on a podcast, there will always be better worship music found on Spotify. However, the sad truth is that a lot of church worship services are lazy and poorly executed. I once worked with a church, and one of the members said, “Old and tired; that describes our church service.”
If your weekend services have stopped being laser-focused on launching people into a week of living in awe and obedience of God, it might be time to take a fresh look at what’s happening on Sundays. For many, Sunday may be their only day off. If your church has been doing the “same old routine” and there is nothing fresh, new, or inviting–do not be surprised if people stop coming.
3. I can study the Bible on my own.
Barna Research suggests that the majority of adults do not believe that active participation in church is necessary for their spiritual life. For this reason, The Malphurs Group works with churches in our Strategic Envisioning Process to clearly define a Discipleship Pathway, which helps your congregation see how engagement in the church helps them gain momentum in their spiritual growth.
Churches have (rightly) focused on personal Bible study and prayer. However, an emphasis on communal study and prayer must remain. There is no Christianity in the Bible that exists apart from the Christian community.
4. I have Christian friends that are my “church.”
An increasing number of Christians feel like their need for a “church” is being satisfied by having a few close Christian friends. These Christians often feel like this close-knit group is closer to the early church in Acts than anything that is happening in a building.
Unfortunately, these believers miss vast swathes of essential elements to church, things that were true even in the earliest days. There are no called leaders–this existed from day one. These small groups of friends have no regular teaching of the word, or dedicated time for worship. These groups likely are not serving their neighbors. Ironically, these small groups are even less likely than churches to be evangelistic. People should not deceive themselves; a handful of Christian friends is not a substitute for a church family.
5. I have to work on Sundays.
Unfortunately, an increasing number of people have to work on Sundays. As a result, churches need to find ways to engage Christians with unconventional work schedules rather than shame them. Consider, how can a person be a fully engaged member of your church if they have to work many or most Sunday mornings? Blue laws are gone, and many people can’t control their work schedule. Be gracious, and thoughtfully consider how to navigate this new dynamic.
6. I have family obligations on the weekends.
The world has changed. In the last decade, youth sports have risen to new popularity. In days past, leagues never scheduled games on Sundays. Today, Sundays are a popular choice for tournaments, games, and competitions. As a result, families find themselves having to choose between church attendance and sports. Even for “faithful” Christian families, parents have a difficult time making this choice.
For the spiritually immature or ambivalent, the choice is simple: sports. Youth sports are not the only new claim on Sunday mornings. It is safe to say, though, that family rhythms are shifting. If this is true, how is your church intentionally addressing this issue? How can you engage a family in spiritual growth that is committed to youth sports? Have you written them off as a “lost cause”?
7. I feel like church is boring.
What initially attracted a person to the church may no longer connect with them. Sunday morning is not about entertaining the masses, but neither should it be boring.
Evaluate who is sitting in the congregation and make sure leadership is planning a service that is engaging their attention. For long-time members and attenders, make sure they don’t get lost in the familiarity of the crowd. For newcomers, ensure that your service keeps them in mind and engages them in a way that they want to come back.
8. I don’t feel like there is a place for my child or teenager.
Youth and children are the future of the church (and the present!). Many families base their attendance on whether or not a church has a good children’s or student ministry.
If a parent feels like their kid is bored and doesn’t want to come back, parents are unlikely to return. We can judge these parents as spiritually immature. But the reality is that they are spiritually immature. They are acting their spiritual age! We can resent that, or we can embrace and engage with them where they are.
How are you doing with serving your children? Evaluate your children’s ministry, not only looking at your content, but also your environments, volunteers, and safety.
9. I don’t feel like going to church makes a difference in my life.
Our faith is ultimately about transformation–from death to life, from glory to glory. People want to be engaged in a church where issues in their everyday life are addressed. Issues such as raising a family, marriage, parenting, illness, financial needs, and job stress are top-of-mind for many individuals.
If your church isn’t speaking into the ways that a relationship with Jesus can transform everyday life, people will eventually leave.
10. I don’t know of any “good” churches near me.
Depending on where a person lives, this could be a reality; however, churches vary in their delivery, style, and leadership. No one will find a “perfect church” that has everything that they prefer.
You can’t control your visitor’s perceived expectations; however, you can remain steadfast in your teaching, committed to the gospel, and ministering in a style that fits your community, experience, and strengths of your leadership.
11. I’m not sure I believe the same things anymore.
In our post-Christian society, many views have become more nuanced. A long-time Christian may have doubts about a literal seven-day creation, or a literal world-wide flood.
If you have created an environment in your church (intentionally or unintentionally) where people cannot ask questions, doubt, or hold varying positions on non-salvation issues, people will leave your church. I know this is a tricky subject. Many churches fear the “slippery slope.” I’m certainly not suggesting that you compromise Biblical authority in any way.
However, I am encouraging you to consider where you draw your lines. Have you decided to “make your stand” on a trivial issue like wearing suits on Sundays, or only reading the KJV? The impact of your positions on important things is hazarded by the force of your opposition to trivial matters.
Every church has to make their own decisions on what’s important and what is not. All I’m asking you to do is be mindful of the lines you draw, and decide if it’s worth a person’s eternity because you won’t let them in the door unless they believe in the historicity of Noah.
12. I’m offended by the church’s position on sexuality.
Many people view the church as the morality police. Being a godly person has nothing to do with a list of rules, but a relationship with God. Yet obsession over rules is one of the reasons why committed Christians do not attend church. If your visitors feel like you can only be a part of the church if you follow a rigid set of rules, you are walking a line of legalism (or have already crossed it).
The challenge for churches is that they must hold fast to the Bible’s sexual standards while embracing people regardless of their past. It’s cliché to say, “Love the sinner, hate the sin.” But it’s true, yet most churches don’t live this out. Many congregations judge the sinner and hate the sin.
Don’t compromise Biblical standards on sexuality. At the same time, don’t compromise on God’s unrelenting love, care, and kindness for even the most wicked sinner.
13. I’ve been hurt by church members.
Not many people enjoy conflict. But no one likes it when conflict keeps brewing and never comes to a resolution. Many pastors and other church leaders fail at conflict resolution in the church.
Unfortunately, many Christians get so wounded in church conflicts that they leave the church altogether. In fact, I would guess that this might be the biggest reason why committed Christians leave the church. Truthfully, I have my own “battle scars.” When church people wound you deeply, it’s easy to want to throw in the towel.
To overcome this objection, we must consistently reinforce that Christians are fallible. We are on a journey of becoming more like Jesus, but we aren’t there yet. We are going to hurt people, and others will hurt us. Leaders can mitigate these challenges by stepping into conflicts and engaging in the ministry of reconciliation. Far too often, leaders let church members “duke it out” and ignore the casualties.
14. I don’t trust church leadership.
Churches, like any other organization or business, have a set of processes and systems. Individuals from the congregation will sometimes disagree with facets of this system; however, many times, the church is at fault for running improperly. Conflict, poor leadership from the pulpit, and personal agendas trumping the church’s vision and mission are vital reasons for faulty administration.
Moreover, committed Christians will sometimes leave the church because they view the leaders as hypocritical. Moral failures, narcissistic or abusive leadership, and low accountability are all reasons why a person might distrust leaders. Unfortunately, their lack of trust is well-deserved.
The best way to overcome this challenge is to prevent it in the first place, and always seek to earn trust. Be a high-accountability church. Lead with integrity.
15. I don’t feel like there is a place for me to lead.
If the same ol’ people hold the same positions every year, this criticism may be legitimate. Young Christians don’t care about having a title, but they do want to have influence.
Be intentional about inviting new and young leaders into positions of responsibility. Build a leadership pipeline so that you can have a growing number of more and better leaders in the church. When people are engaged in serving, they are the least likely to leave. If you want committed Christians to stay in the church, you must move as many people in your congregation as possible from sitting to serving.
Indeed, the world has changed. But is your church adapting to the ever-changing issues? How healthy is your church?
As you evaluate these 15 reasons why committed Christians do not attend church, consider which reasons you contribute to. Take a good look at your church and see whether you are an encouragement for church attendance or a hindrance, then allow the Spirit to guide you and your church leaders to make adjustments where necessary.
If you are in an established church and realize that your church needs a refreshed vision and church-wide strategic plan for the future, contact us to schedule a call with one of our Guides.
Responses
[…] “15 Reasons Why Committed Christians Do Not Attend Church (As Often)” by Susan […]
I would like to add one of my reasons for not going to church is that it’s not safe. You can get shot anywhere. School, movie theaters, music concerts, libraries, work places and churches are like shooting fish in a barrel for unhinged monsters.
You’re not wrong! Churches do need to take safety more seriously. That said, safety has not had a huge impact on people attending schools, movies, sporting events, etc. In our experience, safety is not a top reason why people do not attend–although it may be a factor, at times. Thanks for the comment, Amy!
Our church has a security team in place along with policies to keep children and families safe. Unfortunately you can be shot anywhere. Does that keep us from going to work, shopping or anywhere else? I feel church is the safest place I can be. I would never let fears keep me from worshipping my Lord and Savior.
I don’t think church is the only place to worship our saviour. Your statement implies those who don’t go don’t worship.
I used to attend church but I learned the hard way that “I’ll pray for you” means I’ll gossip about you. I’ve been so hurt by this. Also, churches have become like high schools with cliques and all. I don’t go anymore and probably never will again.
I’ve been hurt by church people, too. Church hurt is often the worst hurt. The reality is that I know I’m not perfect, either. I’m sure I have hurt people, too (even if unintentionally). I continue to go and serve the church because I need community–even a flawed one.
I understand how you feel, and pray that one day the Lord will call you back into community with His people.
Have you ever been snubbed by church members who will not tell you what you supposedly did wrong? Have had people at church who will no longer talk to you, and won’t tell you why? Have you ever been treated in an unforgiving why by church people? I have.
Absolutely, Roger. Unfortunately, there are unforgiving people everywhere–even in churches and church leadership. The important thing is to remember that we are forgiven by Christ and we are to offer that forgiveness to others inasmuch as it within our control to do so.
I’m sorry 🙏I hope you can forgive and go back or go to another church
I’ve been hurt by people in church. Ever since I’ve kept a distance from people in church to avoid getting hurt again. My husband works at the church. When he is in conflict with others it hurts even more so. This is so tough. I miss having a church family. God is revealing to me I need to be the change I want to see. It’s not about what can I get at church but who can I serve.
The church I am a member of in Olympia has many programs and activities for children and oh so few programs and activities for single, divorced, and widowed members. We are in pain, lonely, hungry for touch, hungry for kindness, and feel so forgotten. I am a widowed male and there is not any sort of resources out there for any of us.
I’m feeling overwhelmed at church at the moment. Pastor is working v hard to expand the church, organizing all sorts of things which we’re expected to join in with. The congregation don’t seem to think that there’s a life outside the church plans. There’s pressure to get involved with everything. It’s “why don’t you come to this and that?”Everything has to be so organized. We’re told to huddle around ppl who need prayer,stretch your hands out etc. I just want to go and worship and have fellowship. Some people like doing and here would we be without them but I don’t have the confidence tho I do volunteer as it’s expected. I just want to carry out my faith around about me, day to day, quietly. I’m feeling the pressure and inadequate in the church setting.
I agree with you alot. I am very much an introvert and recently read a book about a place in the church for introverts….however extroverts don’t seem to understand how introverts work in the church and why we are sometimes just wanting to be quiet in our attendance and worship. There is constant expectation for me to act differently and I drain out real fast.
Many churches are in early in the morning and that doesn’t work for me. If there is a service in the evening it would be much better.
I agree.
One main reason that church attendance is down, is the “prosperity” gospel. Pastors asking for “massive” amounts of money, while delivering “watered-down” sermons. It’s a “gimme, gimme a financial blessing, so “God” can bless you. There is a “vast” amount of “homelessness, starvation and lack of concern” for the wellbeing of the congregation. We have allowed so much “nonsense” to “creep” into the church until we can’t recognize the “truth”. Some of the same “sinful” things in the church is the “same sinful” things in the world. Can’t tell the difference.
Amen and Amen!!!!!
I was brought up in a local Baptist church, in which my parents were involved and they kept my siblings and I involved. My parents truly lived with what lines up with the bible. So I was very fortunate to have been taught how to be a kind person. I’m now 40+ years old, raised 2 children and have been very fortunate to see how God has provided me all of my needs. It didn’t matter if I was attending a Pentecostal church or non denominational church. It always bothered me for some reason to see the pastor living above the normal median lifestyle and I quickly saw the pastors and assistant pastors that truly were living for Gods plan. Meaning… Their actions lined up with the word of God. I was told by a dear friend who is assistant pastor..” The church is ran like a business ” We have to submit this issue before the board.. I had felt in my heart to help a woman that needed to get home for her mothers funeral. She was a hard working woman, who supports her family, whom I wasn’t attracted to.. ( No alterior motive), another words, felt to take action from What God placed on my heart
No help… But I did what I could and was hurt by the reaction from the church. So thus being said, just one reason I feel that a lot of people may not go to church. Sometimes the things taught in church just don’t line up..
I also have found while I was involved in multiple churches and going to at least 3 bible studies a week, I started to really judge others unintentionally. I stepped back and was convicted that I was not bringing anyone closer to God. I actually pushed my wife and kids away.
So would be very careful deciding where you get your food ( meat- influence) . Just follow your heart.
And yes… The singles group or lack of is non existent.
You also find out a lot about a church when you seek help for marital councel.. Found great energetic preachers, but no follow up.
So as of now. I will chose to follow my heart if it lines up with Gods word. We are not alone!!
I totally understand all these comments. I love the Lord with all my heart. I do have a hard time with finding a “good church”. I have to ask my self, who I’m I going for? The Bible tells us to go. The Bible tells us to give.
That being said, if a congregation is so Hugh the pastor does not know you, how does this work. A friend once said to me, if the Shepard of the church does not know his flock, how can he be there for them.
Satan is here to steal, kill and destroy. As Christians we need to stay in Gods word. Help each other. Pray for our pastor and congregation. Those same people that hurt you in church go to the stores, restaurants and schools you go to. You haven’t stopped going there.
Go for the Lord, ask God for what you can do to make a difference. It’s all about God, not us. We are hear to serve him, to help others find the Lord. Our time is short. We need to suit up everyday with the full armor of God. Ask him how we can serve him best today. Hand out smiles to those who need them. Pray for the hurting and those in need. Don’t let Satan destroy our churches. Be the church where you are. I’m speaking to myself here as well as everyone else! God bless you all! I will be praying!
I was able to relate with at least 5 reasons on the list. I’ve never thought in leaving behind Jesus, no, but I feel tired of the routine at church. It feels old and blur. Actually, I didn’t attend church in a week; some thought I was discouraged; truth is I Felt that I got no benefit in attending service. I prayed more at home and felt more connected than assisting faithfully at service. I don’t hate anybody, but services feel old.. that’s it.
I am 64 and had been very involved with my husband and kids in the church. My husband passed away when I was 38. Nothing’s been the same since. I met a man at a Christian retreat a yr later and followed God’s Word that the only requirement is that the other has to be a believer. Well I realized shortly after we married that he wanted my $ and was on drugs..that lasted 15 yrs and then broke and divorced. Even dating Christian men has been a nightmare.
I dont have the desire as I used to in the past yr or so to be involved in a churchal any more. I listen to different preachers on Sunday and do my card and prison ministry from home. Even that has changed where we cant be penpals to the ones we correct the courses with. Its a personal relationship so I am walking with God as I see fit. Going to church for fellowship at times. ( I always seem to end up cleaning.)
Religion is love and community.
What if people helped ,served needy communities with love ,instead of going to church ?
Both parties would benefit from the engagement.
I believe God would only welcome this as you would be carrying out his desire for us, knowing how much we would benefit from the help and love we give out.
I cant find a church that believes as I do & it makes me uncomfortable to attend. I believe in the 7 th day Sabbath,,but not the seventh day Adventist doctrine.I have recieved the holy spirit & speak in tongues.I have diligently studied the word for many years & have a very close walk with the Lord. Churches just make me want to get back home to be alone with him.
I’ve been attending a very good Baptist Church since 1996. But my wife died of cancer in 2016, and I’m finding it hard to continue. There’s no relatives in the area; my grown children don’t attend this church, and I battle hereditary bipolar illness(mild to moderate, thank God), stabilized with lithium. Now, I’m an introvert, not a loud irritating disruptive person, but people seem to look at the reputation first. Lately, my strategy has been to skip the service and attend Sunday School, where they have single people roughly my age. We study the Bible; there’s no singing, and we pray for one another in depth. But this is just a coping mechanism. Not sure what to do.
I’ve belonged to several churches where the pastors preached that God calls us all to serve and get involved and use our talents. Unfortunately, that message doesn’t seem to trickle down to the leaders of the various ministries. I’ve gotten involved or tried to volunteer and been turned down or told “we don’t need you.” Very discouraging. I’m in my 60s and feeling pretty useless. A friend once told me, “No one wants to see an old worship leader.” That stung. I’ve been a member in my church for a long time but I feel invisible.
Unfortunately, many churches do not have an effective congregational mobilization process or leadership pipeline to ensure everyone can serve in their best place and that the mission/vision of the church is communicated well throughout the leadership structure.
That’s a shame, our pastor is retiring next month and I’m very concerned. Our pastor is in his late 60’s a few years older then my husband and I. I was told our new pastor will probably be in his 30’s which is the age of my youngest son. I know I’m wrong for feeling this way but I just can’t see this young man being able to relate to folks my age. I’d rather have and older more experienced pastor. I feel he would have so much more to offer in the way of things he has witnessed in his life. Please don’t feel alone. You have so much to teach other
How true. Some ministry leaders become gatekeepers, closing out others as they use their volunteerism as an exclusive means of expiation or sense of self validation. It’s not only hurtful and selfish, it is downright unchristian.
All we need to stick in thruth and spirit.
I agree with most of these. We love the Lord, but do not feel the church is following a Biblical path. More and more churches seem to focus only on the outward and not a true relationship with God. Also, many are not getting the help they need from these churches. They aren’t equipped to help people struggling with life’s problems/depressions/suicide/addiction/poverty, etc. Many churches are focused on tithing and numbers and who has the highest standards within their congregation.
Recently I have been researching how many committed Christians no longer attend any church. There are about 37 million such people in the U.S. today, give or take a few million either way. What about ministry to these brothers and sisters where they are. No pressure, just an invitation to fellowship electronically through an online group.It seems your ministry is focused on getting people back to church. Maybe we should just love the unchurched Christian, interact with them, encourage them where they are right now. I guess I don’t believe that the door to Heaven, the doorway to growth in Christ, is shaped like a church door.
I am pleased you are doing what your doing and apparently doing it well. Keep up the good work.
I would like to say that most of these are fleshly reasons for not going, we worship Him because we belong to Him. We live in a society that promotes do what is best for you, thought the Christian life was about dying to self and serving Christ.
Agreed! These are not meant as “good” reasons, only reasons.
The church I was attending only sang hymns from the 20s and 30s, no one talked during bible studies, the pastor was anointed, but no one lingered after service, just walked quickly from the building. There was no drive to help people in need and certainly not unbelievers, it was very internally focused. I attended another church first for 25 years but it collapsed. I don’t want to be in a body that can vote out the pastor because they don’t like what he preaches or it makes them uncomfortable. Why just sit in a pew with no fellowship outside of an hour on Sunday